July 15th, 2018: Raising a Dog, New Job Position, and Financial Problems

Just over a month ago, Valerya and I adopted our first puppy together, Athena.

Adoption day!

To be honest with you, one of the only reasons why we ended up getting a puppy on that particular day is because of my girlfriend. If I didn’t feel like having an animal in the apartment would make her day better, I would’ve walked away from Athena; however, I chose Athena simply because she was the most quiet of all the puppies, and she was cute. Technically, I did walk away, but the small piece of my heart that I had left told me that I’m not to go home empty-handed again; eventually, after holding the puppy, we made the decision to get her.

I can tell my girlfriend is happier since we got the puppy, so I feel like adopting a puppy was a good decision. As much as my girlfriend wanted an older dog than what we have, I feel like getting a puppy was a good decision because it really opened my eyes about parenting. Previously, I didn’t think I could take care of a child; now I know I definitely can’t take care of a child.

Children was and still is a big topic between my girlfriend and I; it’s caused a handful of arguments/disagreements. Ever since we’ve gotten a puppy, my girlfriend is beginning to lean towards my line of thinking about having children. Originally, I was unsure about children so I assumed that I would grow to want children; however, it went a different direction. Unfortunately, my girlfriend was caught in the middle of figuring out what I wanted, and it took a lot for me to confess my doubts about having children to her knowing that it’s going to upset her. She’s a woman, right…she’s got that natural desire to have children, that monogamous desire to raise a family, share those experiences together, and then there’s the P.O.S I am because I’d rather receive a big paycheck every week from the amount of hours I work than sacrifice hours to spend more time raising a child, and not having the motivation to make those sacrifices. We’ve originally come to an agreement that we would have a kid if I made enough money for her to be a stay-at-home mother, but…I think what it all comes down to is I just don’t want the responsibility of raising a child. I wouldn’t want to put the burden of my girlfriend to raise a child pretty much on her own; that’s not fair for her, and not fair for the child, either.

On our way to Microcenter yesterday, we talked briefly about children again, and she expressed that she doesn’t want to be a stay-at-home mom. I guess we’re more in-line now, which is good, but I think there’s always going to be that part of me that believes, deep down, she’s settling on having children to be with me; this potentiality kinda breaks my heart, but I’ve been as communicative as I can, and hope that she makes the best decision she can, too. As much as I love my girlfriend, I want her to be happy, too.

She also knows that if we were to break up, she’d take the dog with her. The things we say to each other are kind of fucked up sometimes, but to me…it’s the only way to have a healthy relationship. So, yeah.

Because I work more hours, I’m getting a bigger paycheck. Compared to last year, I’m making about 300 dollar more a week. With one paycheck, I can almost pay my rent (which is 63% of my bills). After my second paycheck, it’s theoretically straight profit; however, I have horrible spending habits.

It’s really bad. One thing I am changing is that I’m gonna start making my own lunches and bringing them to work: this is going to cut off my weekly restaurant spending (pizza), and vending machine spending (coca-cola). Also, the food is going to be healthier and I’ll be able to control my coca-cola intake. I may actually lose weight with this change, in fact. Two weeks ago, I had pizza for 3 work days: that’s 3 entire pizzas I’ll be missing out on if I follow through with this commitment. I’m actually kinda excited about it.

The good thing about my spending habits is that they can be controlled, and I know what I’m doing wrong. By cutting back on compulsive Amazon spending, vending machine purchases, fast food/restaurant spending, I can easily save about 400 dollars a month. If I leave the grocery shopping to my girlfriend, that’s 400 extra dollars I can put into my car payment. That’s a big freakin’ deal!

I have made some smart purchases, though. Instead of buying and building a new computer, I’m sorta upgrading the one I have now. Researching my motherboard, the P7P55 WS Supercomputer Motherboard, the max RAM is 16 GB. Come to find out, I only had 8 GB of ram (4 sticks of 2 GB). I bought 2×8 GB of RAM. Also, come to find out…my wireless adapter isn’t capable of my internet speed (which is 1000 MBPS). My adapter is only pulling 270 MBPS. As you can imagine, getting an adapter that can achieve 1000 MBPS is probably going to make my internet faster on my computer. I think those two changes are going to make a big difference. The next thing I plan on doing is investing in a 4 TB hard drive. I have a SSD that I’ll transfer important stuff into, and hopefully reinstall Windows 7 on my new hard drive with a clean slate. 300-400 for upgrades is better than a brand new 2,000+ gaming PC. Yeah, building a new computer is so much more fun than upgrading the one I have now, but I’m putting priority on saving, and that’s the direction I’d like to go.

Aside from those financial goals I have, I have other goals, as well. I don’t particularly feel the need to talk about those goals since I’m supposed to be in bed within the next 35 minutes to get a full 8 hours of sleep (which ain’t gonna happen). I could go all day about the things I’d like to do, but I’ve covered most of it. For the most part, life is pretty good. We had a minor setback when Athena got really sick one night, my girlfriend genuinely thought she had parvo and was gonna die, but I wasn’t convinced. Thankfully, I was right that time because it’s usually my girlfriend that’s right. Other than that, work is work; I don’t have time during the weekday to do anything. If I really wanted to, I could cut back on about 7-9 hours of work, but that’s over 200 bucks a week that I’d be giving up.

At this point, we’re kinda in limbo. I want to get a house because I’m ready to take on the responsibility while basking in the freedom of owning your own home. I wanna build equity and have the complete privacy I’ve always wanted to get back into podcasting, streaming, and whatnot. So we’re just kinda sitting in this apartment we don’t want anymore and waiting for the right moment. Maybe the right moment is now, but…I’d like to save up 10 grand first so we can get a jump start on emergency money in case something needs to be fixed on the house. Also, I want to buy half decent kitchen appliances. We’ll see what happens.

Until next time…